How Much Is Enough?

Whenever the debate to end something comes up, whether it be a career or a relationship, there's always the question of what if. Some people are very skilled at just letting things go, but, there's people like me who just can't NOT explore all the outcomes. Why is that? Why do we hold on to things so desperately even though we may know they aren't healthy? I think everyone would rather have it not work out and be heartbroken than having the 'what if' constantly hanging over their heads. This is such a struggle for most people. It's so sad that everyone is so prone to misery and will constantly seek it out, even if they don't know they're doing it! I guess that's the sad truth of life though. It's easier sometimes to be comfortably miserable than to risk trying for happiness.

Journal Prompts Pt. 1

3. Name a totally useless possession and how you came to acquire it.
I have a piece of driftwood and four stones from the beaches of La Push, Washington. I went to visit Forks and La Push with my family because of my obsession with Twilight and I have never seen anywhere more beautiful. Every time I look at that piece of driftwood, no matter how silly it may be, it reminds me of how outstanding that trip was and the beauty of that beach. 


10. Name your most cherished childhood memory.
I always smile when I think back to when my mom was alive and we would wait for my dad to fall asleep. We would break out the treats, whether they be chocolate wafers or chocolate cake, and watch The Nanny together for hours. She had this floor heater for when it got cold and we would go up to her room and lay out an array of blankets and pillows and we'd cuddle by the heater until I fell asleep. Those times always made me so happy. 


18. Describe 5 things you want to see or do before it’s too late.
I want to experience real transcendence. To be able to meditate and let go of everything seems so magical and foreign to me but I want to feel that freedom and peace more than anything. I want to see as much of the world as possible. I want to meet my soulmate. I want to make my family proud. I want to reach and expand my capacity to love. 

Oh, the possibilities!

When did it all start? All the hate, self-loathing, and jealousy. The addiction, depression, and fear. Was it, as the ancient Greeks described, from Pandora's box? Or when Eve picked the apple in the garden? People say that to solve the problem you must first define the root of the issue. That said, I wish more than anything that someone would find the answer to these questions I ask. Our souls aren't meant to be suffocated by all these negative emotions. So many people are drowning in them and some don't even know it. Maybe it's been ingrained in our minds that these feelings are normal and just something everyone has to get through. I like to think otherwise.

Of course freeing yourself from the negativity isn't a walk in the park. These feelings are poisons to the soul and the only way to bring it back to life is to fight. You must fight for the happiness you deserve. Fight for freedom of mind, body, and soul. Fight for enlightenment and love. Only then can you be free. The problem is, so many people don't have the fight in them or they're too scared of what life on the other side is like. So many people want true happiness, but they are too comfortable in their misery. To find the courage to be free is a miraculous thing indeed.